At 28 weeks, I noticed some bleeding, so Smokey and I headed
for the hospital, where they hooked me up to the machines to monitor
contractions and gave me IV fluids. Then
we had an ultrasound to make sure Baby was ok in there. We stayed for a couple of hours at least,
until they were satisfied that everything was ok. Finally, I was discharged with instructions
to stay on modified bed rest over the weekend (as a precaution). I saw Dr. Stone the next week and she
declared everything ok.
On Saturday morning, April 13, I decided to shower. This was unusual because I typically shower
in the evenings, but I just really felt like I needed a shower. After getting out of the shower, combing my
hair, and putting on my lotion, I was exhausted. I decided to lie down on the bed for a minute
to rest. Smokey and Marley were cuddled
up there watching one of Marley’s shows.
I had only been lying there for a moment when I felt a little feeling
like I might have peed a little bit. I
rolled off the edge of the bed to quickly go to the bathroom when…whoosh! My water broke, just like in the movies, and
my pajama pants were soaked. I
shakily told Smokey what had happened, waddled to the bathroom, and called the
hospital. It was 9:30am. They told me to come immediately. We rushed to pack Marley’s bag and called
everyone we knew, but no one was around to take her for us, so we packed her
into the car with us and drove to the hospital, hoping someone would get back
to us quickly. Ben’s due date was April
28.
On the way to the hospital, I started really noticing the
contractions. They were pretty frequent
and fairly painful already. Once we got
to L&D, they put my in a room, hooked me up to all the machines, and
checked my progress. I was only dilated
to a 2. (Fortunately, Mary called back
around this time and came to pick up Marley.)
It hadn’t been long when suddenly I was being rolled onto my side and
given an oxygen mask. I started to feel
scared, and I kept asking what was happening.
There were a lot of people doing things around me, and finally
Dr. Battaglia leaned over me and told me that the baby’s heart rate was
dropping. Although it would pick up
again, she was concerned he couldn’t wait for me to progress, and she decided I
needed an emergency C-section. I was
devastated. And terrified. I started to cry and say “No.” Smokey and the doctor talked to me and calmed
me down, and I started to understand and accept that this was the best
option. Then things really got
busy. There were so many people in the
room, and everyone was doing something to me.
The anesthesiologist came to ask me some questions and sign the consent
form, they gave me a catheter (yep--*before* the spinal, which did not make me
happy), and they wheeled me off.
In the OR, they were still monitoring the situation and
deciding whether Smokey was going to be able to come in, so I was really scared
about doing the spinal without him. The
nurse was amazing. She held my hand,
talked to me about the whole thing, and reassured me that I wasn’t being
ridiculous. Suddenly, there was a warm
rush all down my lower body and legs, as though I had peed myself. That was the medicine. They laid me down and immediately starting
rubbing an alcohol swab on my skin to test my numbness. I did not trust that I could be that numb
that quickly, and I was terrified I was going to feel it when they cut into
me. I don’t think I’m a very good
patient. Regardless, everything was underway. Smokey was able to come in, Dr. Stone showed
up to help, and they were off. There
were a scary couple of minutes after they took Benny out where we didn’t hear
him crying. As soon as I heard that
sweet, sweet sound, all the fear and relief and emotion of the morning broke
over me in sobbing waves. It had been
about two hours since my water had broken that morning.
They told me they had to take Ben to the nursery while they
closed me up, so I told Smokey to go with him.
But first they brought him to me so I could snuggle and kiss his
beautiful little head. Then they whisked
him off to get cleaned and checked.
The closing up process is long and hard. You no longer have the stress, the
anticipation, the adrenaline keeping you distracted from the fact that you can
feel them digging around inside you and stretching your skin to cover things
up. I started to feel very sick, and I
had sent Smokey to the nursery. I asked
a question, and the anesthesiologist immediately got up from what he was doing and
came to my side. His manner felt very
caring and paternal, and I will forever be grateful to him for helping me
through that part of the procedure.
My little Ben made quite the entrance into this world, and
it has been a whirlwind ever since. He
is stubborn and sweet and funny and loving, and he is my little miracle. I love him more than I can say.
Stats: Ben Gibson Hawkins was born at 11:24am on Saturday, April 13, 2013. He weighed 8 lbs. 11 oz.
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